the bucket list

So last night we watched The Bucket List with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. It was a pretty good movie, worth seeing. However, I really thought I would absolutely love it and Coleson was worried that after watching it I would be inspired to create my own list and want to see the world. However, it had sort of the opposite effect on me. About halfway through, I was worried I wasn't even going to like the movie. The two main characters, who suffer from terminal illnesses, are given six months to live and they set off to see the world - skydiving, the Great Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, that type of thing. And that's all fine and dandy, but what really got me was that Morgan Freeman leaves his wife and family behind to do it. So that's why I didn't think I was even going to like it. I was worried they were going to be so busy doing and seeing "stuff" that they missed out on the really important things like relationships. But of course the writers are smarter then me and they brought the plot around full circle and it was a great movie and all the characters made up with their loved ones before it was too late.

Instead of stirring in me the desire to see the world, it really made me value my family. If I was given six months to live, I would want to spend it with Coleson and Ryan, not in Hong Kong with a stranger. Yes, I'd love to travel and see the world, but would I rather skydive or have a big family dinner at the end of the day? And yes, I know in the movie it took doing all that crazy stuff in order for the men to realize that's not what's important and I get the point of the movie. But in real life I want to live like that now. I am terribly afraid of getting so caught up in all the little stuff and the daily living, that I forget to live. We only have a tiny precious amount of time here on Earth and at the end of the day, it's God and family and love and friendships that matter. I think that's why I no longer care about having this big beautiful house; all I really need is a roof over my head. Coleson and I love to have discussions about the future and our favorite conversation was always "where do we see ourselves in five years?" More and more the answer to that question is I have no idea. We used to love to talk and plan and be in control, but the last few months something's changing in me. Right now I have no idea where we'll be in five years, or even one, but that's really exciting and freeing. I can't wait to see what God has in plan - I know He has a much better future for us then we could ever plan or imagine. And it seems no matter what path we try to take, He pulls us back around anyways. So right now, I'm letting going and enjoying the ride!